The prospect of being first and foremost in someone’s life legitimately aggravates me I am frightened of that happening it’s skewing my perspective on romantic and familial relationships it’s really fucked up and upsetting me more than it should

because I know what it’s like to place last and to not be cared for and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else so the prospect of someone doing that for my sake makes me really angry and I DON’T?? GET IT??

literally what is wrong with me why do I view things this way I’m getting an arranged marriage for money because I want to avoid this entirely and also because marriage is something I’m interested in for practical purposes anyways